Long live doilies

Silver platters and pimento cheese sandwiches

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I am not originally from the South so pimento cheese in not a delicacy I’ve ever cooked. Not that cooking is involved, rather grating up a bunch of extra sharp cheddar cheese, then mixing the cheese with mayonnaise, pimentos and various seasonings. Mind you, it can’t be sharp cheddar cheese, but extra sharp. I found this out the hard way when I bought an abundance of sharp cheese only to have my husband’s inner delta mother voice come out. “No, we can’t use sharp cheddar cheese, has to extra sharp.” After tasting my sample batch, a recipe I had googled, he said , “It needs more pimentos and why is cream cheese in here?” My love has a spectacular blend of the Mississippi Delta and Memphis in his upbringing, much like a rare seasoning ingredient that must be included. Both of these areas pride themselves on over the top hospitality and food. Away he went searching his Delta Mothers’s cookbooks for her pimento cheese recipe and then off to google land to compare with more modern pimento cheese recipes and wallah—we have our recipe. Mind you, all of this done while I slumber in sleep to be greeted by “the” pimento cheese recipe on the counter, crack of dawn the next morning.

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Being a landscape architect, my love is very precise. I am more throw a little of this in and that, stir it around and we are done. I still wonder what attracted him to me. His precision in making this pimento cheese would make his Delta roots proud. When we ran out of pimentos, 2 cans shorts, I said “That will work”. He replied, “Not if I am making this. We are going to get some more pimentos.” Never having been a domestic diva until recently, I’m not very good at all this— including how much of an ingredient to buy. Also about this time, I had made my 3rd trip to the store, so I was a bit grumpy and reluctant with my throw it all together attitude. Probably exhausted from watching me work with such un-precision, my love and I decided we need a little nap. I arose earlier than him and decided it would be a good idea to pre-cut the sides of the first loaf of white bunny bread and cut it into thirds. I was so proud of myself for thinking ahead, thankfully I took a break after the first loaf. I was glowing in what my Dad would describe as being organized and anticipating next steps. Little later my love got up from his nap, came into the kitchen, and then the biggest smile came upon his face. Not being able to quite read his smile, I said, “What, what? He replied, “Babee, you put the pimento cheese on the bread first, then cut off the edges and into thirds.” Wow, I thought, that makes a lot of sense.” Thank God I didn’t cut the other two loaves of Bunny Bread.

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Did I tell you I am left handed? I swear we think and learn completely different from the rest of the universe. My momma really tried with me, all things domestic, but for some reason, they just didn’t sink in. By now, my love has completely taken over making and cutting the pimento cheese sandwiches, I am sure for fear I would embarrass those from his side in Heaven. We go back and forth whether we should freeze or refrigerate the pimento cheese sandwiches before slicing them into the mandatory one -third rectangles, we opt for refrigerate after a trip to google land. The sandwiches were cut with the precision of a surgeon and we were ready to put them on the customary silver tray, a stable of every good Southern women. Again I failed miserably at my domestic diva training. Now in my defense, I had polished the silver trays perfectly! As I am about the put the first, carefully cut one- third of pimento cheese sandwich on the silver tray, my love says, “Whooa, were are the doilies, you can’t place food directly on silver”. Somehow I knew that in the recesses of my mind, but it sure didn’t populate. I looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights. By now I am about to throw the pimento cheese at someone after three trips to the store, but I knew he was right. Off to Walmart land I go.

Trying to buy paper doilies in Walmart was another exercise in patience. I went to where logic was taking me for such an entertaining must have, I was close, but no cigar. I grabbed the first Walmart clerk that came by, a young African American man. “Do you know where the doilies are?” He immediately whips out his cell phone to the Walmart app and types in dollies, of course I didn’t catch this and frankly wasn’t sure how to spell doilies. I look at his screen with him and realize he is sending to me to wear dollies are, that cart thing on wheels that you use to move items. With a great deal of fortitude, as my accent in saying doilies might have sounded like dollies, I say, “Those paper lace things that you put on silver platter to place food on”. Now he looks at me like a deer in headlights- he goes back to his Walmart app and somehow finds about where we need to be. Both of us go up and down the aisle, finally on the back wall, we located a small amount of very small doilies. I think to myself, this must be a dying art of entertaining. We grin at each other like we have won the prize. I say to him “See you have learned something today, what a lace doilies is, a must have for silver”. He indulges me with a smile and I thank God his mother has taught him to be nice to women like me.

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Arriving at the English tea bridal shower early as the lead hostess asked to, I carefully placed my silver tray of pimento cheese sandwiches on this gigantic dining room table filled with cucumber, tomato and chicken sandwiches along cheese straws, chocolate covered strawberries and petit fours. By the way, I learned in preparing for this shower, that each sandwich has a specific way it should be cut—circle, triangle, rectangle—that I certainly didn’t know. The first guests arrive and I have jumped into the hostess role, answering the door and directing the guests where beverages and food are. About mid-way thru the shower, I vaguely hear something about the pimento cheese. I am cringing a bit, as normally for my cooking, it is not a good thing, but then I stand taller as I remember my love prepared the pimento cheese. Towering straighter with confidence, straining to hear conversation in the back of the house, slowly I can hear what the guest are saying. THEY ARE RAVING ABOUT THE PIMENTO CHEESE, WANTING TO KNOW WHO MADE IT! I can feel the heavens opening up with the Delta/ Memphis ancestors of my husbands family beaming with such pride. No longer a possible domestic embarrassment to the family, I relax and thank God for my Love. We are a good team.